Thursday, September 27, 2012

UTG X: ....and how do you feel about that?

b2 Publishing: UTG X: ....and how do you feel about that?:

UTG X: ....and how do you feel about that?

(welcome to the world of 'Under the Gun'. if this is your first trip you may want to start HERE at the beginning, but hey, it's your trip after all. read carefully, I'm under-insured - b2)


UNDER the GUN - PART 10: ......and how do you feel about that?


"So how does this work, exactly Dr. Foley?" I mumbled, chin to chest, eyes to the floor picking out patterns and faces in the medium shag.

"Please, call me Charles."

"Okay, how does all of this work, Chuck?" I said smugly, with eyes now fixed straight on the head shrinker before me. I would say that my patience with being a patient was wearing thin, but since I have not patience (about anything) there was really nothing left to wear.

"How would you like it to work, John?"

"Please, call me Mr. B." This guy is going to get no where fast with me.

"Okay,..Mr. B., how would you like to spend your time here today?"

well for starters, big boy, how 'bout you bring that hassock over here and go grab us some beers while I put my feet up....

"I don't know, I guess I was expecting that you would ask me some questions, I guess."

oh brother, you really do love you some doctor's, don't ya'?!!

"Well, first of all there are no set rules on how a therapy session has to be. I think that to start with we just concentrate on getting to know each other a little better."

I think I'm going to be sick. this mutual admiration crap is way too rich for me....

That's when it happened. It all just spilled out. Somehow I managed to skip the pre-requisite five visits to a psychologist prior to really opening up. Right then, right there, I single handedly saved my insurance company over twelve thousand dollars:

"There is a voice in my head that is constantly berating me, insulting others, second guessing every decision I make, and is so vile that it sometimes makes me want to drive sixteen penny nails into my ears just in the hopes that it will shut the hell up for five minutes so that I can have a little peace." There I said it, out loud, in the presence of a medical practitioner.

you've done it now, mister! they're gonna lock you in a silly room with all the droolly heads and shock you up right, one-flew-over-the-cookoo's-nest-style! yes-sir-ree-bob! you are completely and utterly screwed!

"I see." Doctor Chuck nodded as he furiously scribbled notes with a purple sharpee on a dog-eared yellow legal pad with doodles all over the cardboard backing.

"I see." Again he nodded.

"Mr. B." This time looking up over his bi-focals, the whites of his eyes making his gray comb-over look even more brittle and dry. "Do you have any pets?"

"Mr. B."

"Mr. B?"

"Mr. B.,....Dr. Foley will see you now."

The waiting room slowly came into focus and I frantically looked around the room at the new faces that had arrived during my slumber. Wondering how many of them noticed the line of drool that ran all the way from my lip down to the Highlights picture puzzle on page 73.

wake up jerky! time to see the head shrinker, blood-boy! now don't go and screw this up. we don't want to be sent the silly room, now do we?



(you have just experienced a ride on the serial anthology known as 'Under the Gun'. all content is original, spontaneous, and released for public consummation immediately after creation. there is no editing, no second guessing, and no life vests. this is completely unplanned, unsweetened, and un-called-for. enjoy, but don't be selfish....share your thoughts, spread the word, and release the hounds - b2)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Keep it real, keep it clean, let me have it....

Sign in with your Google, Twitter, or Yahoo I.D. (like these really smart people did)-